April 4th, 2025
by Raef Chenery
by Raef Chenery
There are very few joys in life quite like being a parent. At the same time, there are very few responsibilities quite as heavy as being a parent. At the heart of Christian parenting is a desire to see our children walk deeply with God. We desire for them to grow up to know and love Jesus Christ with zeal and passion. We desire for them to be confident in their faith, and equipped with the truth so that they will not be easily shaken by the false ideologies they will certainly encounter as they grow older. We desire for them to see all of life through a scriptural lens. To run to Christ for comfort when they walk through trial, and to be quick to give credit and honor to Christ their king at every turn. We long for them to find Christian spouses who will encourage and continue their walk with God, and who will in turn raise another generation of saints in the Lord.
How do we stoke these flames in our children’s heart? How do we ignite a blaze, even in their youngest years, that will never be put out? In one sense, we readily acknowledge that we, on our own, can’t. It is Christ alone who will cause our children to be born again. He will win their hearts to Himself. He will cause their heart of stone to be transformed into a heart of flesh. He will open their eyes to behold the King in his all of his glory. And yet, God has designed the world we inhabit with particular laws and norms. And when a Christian parent, filled by the Holy Spirit, consistent in their own walk with Jesus, intentionally disciples their child, it is a normal result that their child will walk deeply with God as well.
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it,”
Discipling children cannot be limited to one or two daily tasks. It is an every moment discipline because our children are always watching us, learning from us, seeing our sincerity in our actions or lack thereof. We ourselves must demonstrate justice and mercy in our homes and in our conversations. We must practice personal daily devotion and walk with a true sense of integrity in our homes. We must actively guard the purity of our homes. And we must do all of this with the joy of the Lord clearly leaping from our heart and pouring into our children in joy and laughter and light and love.
Yet, there is one daily discipline, that is perhaps the most neglected among Christian parents today. that is in fact among the greatest tools we have for shepherding our families. That discipline is daily family worship. Once upon a time this discipline was not only the normal practice of most Christian families, it was in fact considered an essential practice among Christian families. The Puritans, that great generation of godly saints, held up leading daily family worship as a mark of the ideal father. Whether your children are two years old or seventeen years old, the head of the house should prioritize space each day to lead family worship.
How to Lead Family Worship
So what does Daily Family Worship look like? The three key elements to family worship are reading the Bible, singing worship, and prayer. Individual families may add their own elements to these standards, but all three elements should be present in our family worship. Essentially, for a moment each day we turn our homes into a tiny church, where the father functions like the pastor, shepherding his family. This time for my family takes about fifteen to twenty minutes each morning. We build our day around it. Each member of the family knows that all tasks for preparation of the day (packing lunches, getting shoes on, eating breakfast, etc) must be complete before 7:15am when our Family Worship begins. Again, your time may be different than ours, but the key is consistency and prioritization.
Read the Bible
The first step is that we read the Bible together. Our normal practice, just like our Church, is to select a book of the Bible, and then to read a bit of it each morning. We spent the last two months in the book of Acts, and we have just moved on to the minor prophet Micah. Because my children are young, as I read, I will pause from time to time to ask questions and make sure they are following the text. If it is a narrative that we are reading, I will make it enjoyable by adding voices for the different characters. Or I may even have my children act out certain scenes (my children still remember when I made them act out Absalom getting his hair caught in a tree or Naaman the leper being cleansed by Elijah). The point is, read the text and make it come alive for your family. Help them to experience it. And most importantly, help them to understand the principles beneath the text. Ask them what we can learn about God, about faith, about the church, about trials. In doing this you are teaching your children how to engage with the Bible.
Sing Worship
The second step is to sing worship together. I remember the first time I ever lead our family in singing worship in our home together felt quite awkward. I loved worship at Church on Sunday, but the idea of communal worship in our home felt strange. But once the rhythm of singing hymns together began, it became something we all eagerly looked forward to each day. I will have my children take turns selecting the worship song to sing together. For this time of worship our family chooses to avoid children’s worship songs, and to really sing meaningful hymns and spiritual songs together. Some days we simply play a song and put the lyrics up on our tv screen to sing along to. Other mornings, when time permits, I will lead us on the guitar, and my oldest will accompany me on the piano. What joy it is to fill our home with the sound of heaven! I wonder how the angels join in our chorus?
Pray
Lastly, I or my wife will close our time out by praying over our day. This time of prayer is our chance to shape our children’s hearts and perspective for the day. And it is also our chance to demonstrate to them what prayer looks like. We keep this time short, so as not to weary our children by overly lengthy prayers, but not so short that it feels rushed or unimportant. We pray passionately. We ask the Lord to guide and guard our children, to shape their hearts, to use them to bless others. We pray over my work as a pastor, over my wife’s work in our home and in her classroom. We pray for a specific needs that are on our children’s minds and hearts, and for those who are hurting in our church family. In all of this we are teaching our children that our family truly believes in the centrality of prayer for the Christian life.
Conclusion
Let me close with a word of encouragement. Perhaps you are reading this and thinking that it is too late, that you missed your opportunity. Or, perhaps you are reading this and thinking, this feels too difficult, too weighty, or too intimidating. Be encouraged in Christ. As Christians, we know that Christ never calls us to a work he has not equipped us to accomplish. It is not too late to begin, and it is not too difficult do. God has given you his Holy Spirit. Remember Abraham whom God said, “For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice…” (Genesis 18:19). Remember Joshua who dared to stand alone and say, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15). Remember righteous Job who “when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them [his children], and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all” (Job 1:5). Remember Cornelius who was “a devout man who feared God with all his household” (Acts 10:2). Yes! Follow after these men who led their families so faithfully. Receive the fruit and blessing that accompanies such faithfulness.
How do we stoke these flames in our children’s heart? How do we ignite a blaze, even in their youngest years, that will never be put out? In one sense, we readily acknowledge that we, on our own, can’t. It is Christ alone who will cause our children to be born again. He will win their hearts to Himself. He will cause their heart of stone to be transformed into a heart of flesh. He will open their eyes to behold the King in his all of his glory. And yet, God has designed the world we inhabit with particular laws and norms. And when a Christian parent, filled by the Holy Spirit, consistent in their own walk with Jesus, intentionally disciples their child, it is a normal result that their child will walk deeply with God as well.
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it,”
Discipling children cannot be limited to one or two daily tasks. It is an every moment discipline because our children are always watching us, learning from us, seeing our sincerity in our actions or lack thereof. We ourselves must demonstrate justice and mercy in our homes and in our conversations. We must practice personal daily devotion and walk with a true sense of integrity in our homes. We must actively guard the purity of our homes. And we must do all of this with the joy of the Lord clearly leaping from our heart and pouring into our children in joy and laughter and light and love.
Yet, there is one daily discipline, that is perhaps the most neglected among Christian parents today. that is in fact among the greatest tools we have for shepherding our families. That discipline is daily family worship. Once upon a time this discipline was not only the normal practice of most Christian families, it was in fact considered an essential practice among Christian families. The Puritans, that great generation of godly saints, held up leading daily family worship as a mark of the ideal father. Whether your children are two years old or seventeen years old, the head of the house should prioritize space each day to lead family worship.
How to Lead Family Worship
So what does Daily Family Worship look like? The three key elements to family worship are reading the Bible, singing worship, and prayer. Individual families may add their own elements to these standards, but all three elements should be present in our family worship. Essentially, for a moment each day we turn our homes into a tiny church, where the father functions like the pastor, shepherding his family. This time for my family takes about fifteen to twenty minutes each morning. We build our day around it. Each member of the family knows that all tasks for preparation of the day (packing lunches, getting shoes on, eating breakfast, etc) must be complete before 7:15am when our Family Worship begins. Again, your time may be different than ours, but the key is consistency and prioritization.
Read the Bible
The first step is that we read the Bible together. Our normal practice, just like our Church, is to select a book of the Bible, and then to read a bit of it each morning. We spent the last two months in the book of Acts, and we have just moved on to the minor prophet Micah. Because my children are young, as I read, I will pause from time to time to ask questions and make sure they are following the text. If it is a narrative that we are reading, I will make it enjoyable by adding voices for the different characters. Or I may even have my children act out certain scenes (my children still remember when I made them act out Absalom getting his hair caught in a tree or Naaman the leper being cleansed by Elijah). The point is, read the text and make it come alive for your family. Help them to experience it. And most importantly, help them to understand the principles beneath the text. Ask them what we can learn about God, about faith, about the church, about trials. In doing this you are teaching your children how to engage with the Bible.
Sing Worship
The second step is to sing worship together. I remember the first time I ever lead our family in singing worship in our home together felt quite awkward. I loved worship at Church on Sunday, but the idea of communal worship in our home felt strange. But once the rhythm of singing hymns together began, it became something we all eagerly looked forward to each day. I will have my children take turns selecting the worship song to sing together. For this time of worship our family chooses to avoid children’s worship songs, and to really sing meaningful hymns and spiritual songs together. Some days we simply play a song and put the lyrics up on our tv screen to sing along to. Other mornings, when time permits, I will lead us on the guitar, and my oldest will accompany me on the piano. What joy it is to fill our home with the sound of heaven! I wonder how the angels join in our chorus?
Pray
Lastly, I or my wife will close our time out by praying over our day. This time of prayer is our chance to shape our children’s hearts and perspective for the day. And it is also our chance to demonstrate to them what prayer looks like. We keep this time short, so as not to weary our children by overly lengthy prayers, but not so short that it feels rushed or unimportant. We pray passionately. We ask the Lord to guide and guard our children, to shape their hearts, to use them to bless others. We pray over my work as a pastor, over my wife’s work in our home and in her classroom. We pray for a specific needs that are on our children’s minds and hearts, and for those who are hurting in our church family. In all of this we are teaching our children that our family truly believes in the centrality of prayer for the Christian life.
Conclusion
Let me close with a word of encouragement. Perhaps you are reading this and thinking that it is too late, that you missed your opportunity. Or, perhaps you are reading this and thinking, this feels too difficult, too weighty, or too intimidating. Be encouraged in Christ. As Christians, we know that Christ never calls us to a work he has not equipped us to accomplish. It is not too late to begin, and it is not too difficult do. God has given you his Holy Spirit. Remember Abraham whom God said, “For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice…” (Genesis 18:19). Remember Joshua who dared to stand alone and say, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15). Remember righteous Job who “when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them [his children], and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all” (Job 1:5). Remember Cornelius who was “a devout man who feared God with all his household” (Acts 10:2). Yes! Follow after these men who led their families so faithfully. Receive the fruit and blessing that accompanies such faithfulness.
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